14 Smoking Accessories that Nobody Should Own

1)Trained Cockroach Smuggles Smokes

Ok, this one is just cool. Plus, if you’re stuck in solitary it’s actually pretty damn useful.

2)Ash Tray Fits Cigarette

Dude, just get an ashtray. Or don’t. It seems like you’d end up grabbing the end of the cigarette and the weight of this thing would break your cigarette in half.

3)Keeps Smoke Out Of Eyes

And blow it into somebody else’s eyes.

4)Safety Holder for Fag Smokers

And finally this ridiculously giant ashtray ring thing. It’s only redeeming quality is that if you squint hard enough you could swear this was a black and white snapshot from one of those Star Trek TNG episodes where Picard goes all gangster in the holodeck.

5)Pipe Holster

If you thought cell phone holsters were the dumbest looking things on earth, think again.

6)Cigarette Holder for Nudists

You really don’t want to know where that guy kept his cigarettes before this was invented.

7)Invalid “Fed” Cigarettes on a Stick

Thank god someone has solved the age old problem of how to smoke in a hospital bed when both of your arms are broken! And people say nicotine isn’t addictive?

8)Double-Barrel Cigarette Holder

First up, we have this double-barrel cigarette holder. Makes perfect sense, right? You’ve got two lungs, gotta have two cigarettes. Of course if you used this I don’t think you’d have two lungs for very long…

9)Whole Cigarette Factory Contained in Single Tobacco Can

I’m not entirely sure that’s tobacco he’s rolling up there.

10)Cigarette Case Keeps Account of Smokes Given to Friends

I think that anyone cheap enough to need one of these would be too cheap to actually buy one.